The Weird and The Wacky Meet

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A Liberal’s Guide for First Time Drinkers

 

So, you've decided to try alcohol for the very first time. Good for you. Some drinks can be quite tasty and pairing wine with food is a fine art. However, alcohol is a drug and can have some serious consequences, so it’s important to keep certain things in mind if you decide to drink.

 

1. Know your limit. Everyone has a different body and will be affected by alcohol in a different way. Find a chart that will tell you what it’s going to take to make you tipsy, and drunk. Webtender.com has a fairly decent calculator here.

2. Do not overdo it. Alcohol can lead to alcohol poisoning, which can lead to death. If you start to lose control of your muscles, or you feel dizzy, or nauseated, STOP DRINKING.

3. If your family has a history of alcoholism, it’s probably not a good idea to start drinking. If you still decide to drink, keep an eye on how often and how much you're drinking. Alcoholism is not fun or funny.

4. Always drink with people who you trust. If you are out, there should be a responsible person not drinking, who is willing to drive you home and take care of you. Do not drink with people who aren't going to take care of you. Do not drink with a group of people whose sole purpose is to see you drink so they can make fun of you. In short, don't drink with assholes.

5. Never drink alone. Even in a group, there should be a couple other people drinking, maybe not as much as you, but you should have someone who is not silently disapproving of what you're doing. Also, alcohol is a depressant, and being depressed alone is not a smart thing to do.

6. Never drink because you're angry at someone, or because you're depressed. Drinking will not take away the problem. Solving your problems is something only you can do when you're sober.

7. Drink for the taste. Alcohol can taste very good. Having a nice glass of white wine with chicken or fish can really bring out the flavor. Or drinking a margarita with spicy food can be delicious. Alcohol is meant to enhance food, not drown out your taste buds.

8. Drink a lot of water. Alcohol dehydrates you, so water is essential. If you order a drink, ask for a glass of water as well. If you're drinking at home, have a bottle of water handy. Also, drinking water can prevent hangovers.

9. After drinking you should always drink more water, and take two aspirin, Aleve, Tylenol, or whatever painkiller you like. This will also help prevent a hangover.

10. Try to stay awake until you're getting more sober. Sleeping while drunk isn't refreshing, also feeling sleepy is a sign of alcohol poisoning.

 

 

 

Enjoy and hold your liquor.

Copyright 2004

by Amanda Evans

Date: 08/20/04